I am only a few days out until I start my new job. I am full of mixed emotions: excited, anxious, nervous, relieved, stressed... the list goes on. But I have enjoyed the last two weeks of freedom before I become a workaholic. I spent a weekend in Boston with my best friend Inge where I ended up at an Obama Re-election party. I was that kid who had a kick-me sign on the back of their jacket.... except replace the kick-me with Obama stickers. I spent a night in Columbus Circle overlooking the view of New York City and watching the Rangers score in the last 6 seconds of the game. And lastly I spent over a week in Minnesota. Even though I had only been away for a month and it was a huge relief being back in my home with my family, cat, dog and own bed. I spent most of my time home at the Mall of America purchasing a new work wardrobe. I am looking forward to giving my room mate a fashion show, and she will be pleased with my updated clothing. I was also happy to be home for Mothers Day. I wanted to get my mom something really special this year because she has been super mom while I have lived the gypsy lifestyle the last 8 months. This past Christmas my mom bought me a bracelet from Same Sky. Same Sky is a company that employs HIV-positive women in Rwanda, and 100% goes back into the company to support these women. It is my favorite bracelet and now my mom has one too!
I did something that will probably make most people laugh or roll their eyes. But it is exactly what I needed to do. While shopping I wanted to buy a new ring for work. I tried on over 20 different rings, and even got one stuck on my finger. Which led to me having a panic attack in the store and the sales woman calming me down and then ripping the ring off my finger. Needless to say that ring was not the one. I almost gave up on my new ring when I saw the perfect one. It was simple, gold, and perfect. So I purchased it and asked if the saleswomen would wrap it for me. She gave me a look because she had just spent the last 20 minutes helping me finding a ring for myself and now I was giving it as a gift. And I was... I gift to myself. The last 8 months of my life have had no structure and even though I had amazing adventures - I was also coping. This Monday when I start my new job, I am hitting the reset button. I finally have the opportunity to start a new path, a new journey and a new life. I get to choose what I want to remember and what will happen in the future. So Monday morning after I am all ready to go to work, I will open my gift, put on my new ring and reset.
I am about to get personal, because that's what blogs are for right? When my 5-year long relationship ended in September I was terrified I would never find someone again. The thought of dating was so unappealing to me, and the last time I flirted I was 17 years old. Times had definitely changed. But then I met someone and I allowed myself to open again. I was reminded how much fun it is to get to know someone. Even though our relationship did not work out, I would not have changed a thing. Because he allowed me to realize that I will date again, and I will fall in love again. But there is no need to rush this process. I am in a brand new city, about to start a brand new job, and I am just going to relish in this moment.
Although I will still continue to live my life as a hopeless romantic. I cannot change the fact that I hope one day when I step off the curb too soon... a guy saves me from a speeding cab, then we go for coffee. Or I drop my sunglasses on the subway and a guy runs after me, then we go for coffee. Or I get into a cab at the same time as a guy, and then we go for coffee. Everything is always better with coffee.
Always
Brooke
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